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Welcome back to our website for a taste of the absurd and unusual topics that we, Happy Hour News Team, thought you should know, even though you didn’t.

No video this week, as we go “Old School” with an audio only show for our dedicated head-phone crowd! On with the monkey business!

We kick it into gear with a Poor Gal who was just sitting in her car, minding her own business, masturbating, when a rude police officer, who obviously did not realize that public masturbation is the third most popular pastime in Florida

Being that Shanty and myself, Sanchez Eldorado, have never felt the pressures that society places on women to look a certain way, or the time involved to apply makeup, we simply don’t understand why someone would go to this extreme. I mean a bad tattoo on your butt, or even an arm can be hidden, but this poor girl is well fucked!!!

As Shanty pointed out, if someone wants to start murdering people en mass, there’s really little you can do to prevent it.

Imagine having run your ass off for about an hour and you are coming to a water station to get a little re-hydration. You start slugging that sweet, sweet water down only to fond out it’s RUM! What an asshole!

Finders keepers, that’s how the saying goes. Some lucky folks came across a bunch of coins from the 1700’s, and it looks like they get to keep them.

 

So, when you here a story about donkey penises getting smuggled into Hong Kong, you might ask “But Why?” Stand by for further information.

You know you live in a fucked up town when they cut down all the trees so homeless people won’t have any shade!

From homelessness to medical malpractice, we never prematurely deliver the news you didn’t know you needed!

I am proud to announce that I, Sanchez Eldorado have FINALLY won an argument with Shanty Pants regarding hemispheres! YAYYY!!

There you go, another information filled hour wasted like only we can. Remember to keep coming back, and don’t be shy about clicking on some links at the top of the page! {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{PEACE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}S.E.