Oh Look Out!!

Welcome To Our Meltdown

The News You Didn't Know You Needed
Listen Here

Stupid Games—–Stupid Prizes

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com. Or you can interact with us during live casts, so be sure to tune in! Check our Facebook page for more info!

Another week, another batch of fucked up stories for us to scratch our collective heads over!

Lets just do it.

This kid is going to the wrong stealing school.

13-year-old gets trapped in claw machine he was trying to steal from, park official says

Parents, TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN!!! This kind of thing has to stop!

13-year-old dies from overdose after attempting TikTok challenge

He found it very “Electrifying”!

US Marine Attempts To Treat Rattlesnake Bite With Car Battery, Makes Situation Much Worse

These two were going to stay together till the end!

Couple beheaded themselves with homemade guillotine in ritual sacrifice, police in India say

They say only the smartest people live in Florida. “They” are stupid!

Drunk man causes chaos after breaking into Naples Police Department

What a combination, crazy and stupid!

MDPD: Miami woman tries to run over ex, gets shot at, then sets own car on fire

It’s a baby in a box. And it’s a business!

Newborn surrendered to Safe Haven Baby Box installed less than 4 months ago

Truly a stupid game deserving a very stupid prize!!!

Woman Injects Crushed Black Widow To Get High, Has A Bad Time
A Black Widow Delivered Some Harsh Truths To A Trio Of Aspiring Spider Men

That’s it for this week, and remember—DON”T TRY ANYTHING YOU SEE, OR HEAR FROM US, EVER!!!!!!  Life is hard enough without thinking that you can get good advise from the likes of us!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&PEACE&&&&&&&&&&&&&&S.E.

Taste The Rainbow!!!

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com. Or you can interact with us during live casts, so be sure to tune in! Check our Facebook page for more info!

Good News Everybody! It seems we have made it through another winter relatively unscathed.

It’s been a tough one here in the frozen shit-hole of Hoth. We are looking at steady above freezing temps for at least the next week or so.

Here is some news you didn’t know you needed to here:

Well la-ti-fucking-da! It turns out some peoples wittle feewings are getting hurt over a business move to include the “Alphabet” community in their marketing strategy. Hey, trans people should have the right to all of the ill health effects of beer drinking that everybody else suffers from! Are they afraid they are going to “Catch the Gay”? Well this reaction has put Bud Light right up front in the national spotlight, and a ton of people who would NEVER have bought the swill, will be standing in line to snatch up them rainbow cans like they were Beanie Babies, or Cabbage Patch dolls. So go ahead and throw your fits, and insulate yourself from the reality of life in the 21st century, because those people you are disgusted by, are not going away!

The links:

This guy was trying to Floridize Pennsylvanian!

Naked Florida Man With Dead Deer In School Bus Leads PA Police On Chase

This guy has some pretty messed up logic. I wanted to prove she could be raped, so I did?

OPP officer guilty of sexual assault on unconscious woman and recording it to ‘teach her a lesson’

Sometimes, nature will straiten things out without any help from us.

 

 

2 Georgia men electrocuted during substation break-in

What a perfect use of taxpayer money! Use the police to enforce a civil matter.

Police Traveled 500 Miles To Seize Girl’s Pet Goat for Slaughter

They just didn’t come. WTF!? Somebody’s got some splainen to do!

Woman files lawsuit in husband’s death, claiming EMS never showed up

How in the hell does someone get only 15 years in prison for killing a two month old baby!?!? I hope he gets his due in the pen!

Man gets 15 years in prison for murder of infant daughter which he blamed on his cat, records show

I wonder if she thought that sewing him up would maybe reverse the hole in his heart!

Woman fatally stabs boyfriend, tries to stitch him up before calling 911, reports say

These cops thought that torturing inmates was funny. Who’s laughing now bitch?

Former jail guards sentenced for using ‘Baby Shark’ to punish Oklahoma inmates

Gut beer. Good or bad? Bad.

Man Details Syndrome That Makes His Body Produce Beer, But It’s Unfortunately Not As Fun As It Sounds

Don’t forget to check our Facebook Page, and YouTube channel. Also, check out our CEO’s science channel HERE

================PEACE=================S.E.

Assault Whiskey

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com. Or you can interact with us during live casts, so be sure to tune in! Check our Facebook page for more info!

This week with the help of our good friend Fargo Flips,(Chief Whiskey Importer) Thanks Blake! We continue to scan the wacky world of the world wide web to bring you the news you didn’t know you needed to hear!

If your interested in purchasing some swag, head to THIS LINK

The Links———

We kick off in Florida with a Poor Guy-Florida Man story wherein the dog did it.

Bicyclist killed when dog pulls him into oncoming traffic on US-1 in Cocoa

This is the reason I won’t go to bible class.

Minnesota man fatally stabs wife during Bible study

So snake sex is a thing now.

A Man Has Been Found Guilty of Having a Snake Sex Tape on His Phone

The stupid runs deep!

Woman gets 4 felonies for driving with kids on car roof

The next prezzident contest will have at least 1 guy running from lockup. Elect A Felon!!!

‘Tiger King’ Joe Exotic Announces 2024 Presidential Run

Evidently, Americans will believe anything.

Snopes.com had to debunk a story from The Onion because people on the Internet are amazingly stupid

Well, at least there is at least 1 cop in Minnesota with a sense oh humor.

Driver hands deputy ‘Get out of jail free’ Monopoly card during traffic stop

The future of meat in America. Pretty soon there will be “Home Meat Culture” kits!

Lab-grown meatball created with DNA from mammoth

Having been around for a good number of years, I can tell you that if Wendys food put someone in the ICU for a month, the store would be closed in a second. The whole country would know about it!

Couple sues Wendy’s claiming cheeseburger put wife in ICU for month

That’s it for this week, Like, Subscribe, and Yada Yada Yada.

++++++++++++++++++PEACE++++++++++++++S.E.