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Welcome To Our Meltdown

The News You Didn't Know You Needed
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Cumcakes!

You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com  or leave a message/text at 701-369-0029

This week we want to shout out to QSBLAW.ORG  for using us as one of their fake sponsors! They’ve got a great show, and have been great friends to our podcast.

We start in Florida with a story about a guy with a crack thing, well, it was one of his things.

Florida Man Arrested After Stalking Two Girls, Stopping To Smoke Crack And Play With Himself

Bouncing from one Florida Man to the next. This guy is a foot sniffer from the shadows.

Florida Man Arrested After Asking To Smell And Touch Minors Feet, Sex Acts In Exchange For Marijuana

This Florida woman needed to float an emergency Rona loan for her business. Turns out her bushiness is hiring hit men!!

Florida Woman Used Pandemic-Relief Loan to Pay a Hit Man, Police Say

Sometimes, a story comes by that really creates a shitload of questions. Namely WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!

Cynthia Perkins: Teacher accused of SICK act against students gets 41 years in jail

Your local ATF wants you to have a good Valentines Day!

 

ATF urges people to give exes a ‘Valentine’s Day surprise’ by turning them in

Don’t forget to lock your cabin when you are done with it. And maybe fix it to the ground.

Police are investigating the theft of a 12 x 28 cabin in Cold Springs Township.

Ice skating in Nevada

This next story should have everyone upset. Banking DNA from a victim, to use later in a criminal proceeding will keep people from reporting crimes. Fortunately, this story has been updated, and the charges have been dropped.

DA Drops Charges Against Woman Identified With DNA Collected From Her Rape Kit

Lets give it up for this Eagle-eyed policeman who spotted the blanket!

Young NY girl missing since 2019 found hidden under staircase

And for our last story we bring you a tale of hope. This woman was hoping for a boy baby, so she followed the advice of the local nut job.

Faith Healer Convinced Pregnant Woman That Hammering a Nail in Her Skull Would Result in Baby Boy, Doctors Say

 

That’s it for this week. Now go do something else.

+++++++++++++++++++++PEACE++++++++++++++++++++S.E.

The “B” Side

 

This week we once again come to you from the Good Idea Studio with the news you didn’t know you needed. And other bullshit. You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com or leave a text/voice message at 701-369-0029.

I actually got a Happy B-Day phone message from our friend Joe from WV. Thanks to all for the good wishes, now GET OFF MY LAWN (Damn Kids!)

our first story is about a Florida Woman who got busted posing as an official of the immigration dept. for cash bribes. I wonder how much she made before she got snitched out!

Woman posing as head of immigration dupes Hialeah victims out of $15,000

This next on is a lulu! Be sure to keep your leaves in your own yard. You bleed NOW!!!

Leaf blowing feud ends with 2 stabbed, Florida woman arrested

All power to the people! Even the small ones! Give these crumb snatchers some chocolate milk already!

Students walk out, protest removal of chocolate milk from school lunch menu

It’s time to stop this stupid, anti people, pro theft by bully BULLSHIT!!!!! This Sheriff has the perfect name.

A California Sheriff Remains Free To Rob Armored Cars Carrying Money From State-Licensed Marijuana Businesses

 

If this is your way keeping people from walking their dogs on trails, I hope you choke on a big fat wiener!

Ibuprofen-laced hot dogs found at Forest Service Trailheads

I’m thinking this guy is less Mick Jagger, and more Freddy Kruger.

Phony Mick Jagger Facing Real Charges

I don’t know who should be more freaked out, the doctors, or the patient!

Man Declared Dead By Multiple Doctors Woke Up Shortly Before His Autopsy

I wonder if she wore her penguin suit to the casino.

Nun, 80, gets year in prison for stealing over $835K from Catholic school

As far as I’m concerned, these girls are living the American dream!!!

Girl Scout Sells 117 Boxes Of Cookies In 2 Hours Outside Marijuana Clinic

I believe the term for what happened in this next story “Cutting off you nose to spite your face”

Ontario spent $133,866 trying to fire employee over alleged $2.99 theft

Seldom do we run into a story where everyone involved did everything correctly. This week we give props to the Librarian, the Parents, the teachers, and especially to Dillon Helbig, for just being AWSOME!!!

An 8-year-old snuck a book he wrote on a library shelf. More than 100 people are waiting to check it out

That’s it for this week, We want to thank everybody for listening to this nonsense, and hope you had a laugh or two. Make sure to stick around for the latest offering from the Rocket 38’s

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^PEACE^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^S.E.