You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029.

Once again we take a journey into the dregs of the inter-webs to bring you the news you didn’t know you needed! Grab a frosty beverage and click a few links! And remember, the word “News” is in the name of our podcast, but so is the term “Happy Hour”. You decide which way you want to take this shit!

Before we get to the “Meat” of matter, we want to give a shout out to another podcast that Shanty Pants joins now and then to discuss horror related media and that ilk.

Tales From The Podcast / 2G1C

Shanty also showed off his Panic Terror Films “Hobo Saves The World” shirt, and the issue of their magazine which contained a 2 page spread about your favorite fuckery-based news and information source, US! It.s pretty weird to see yourself on a printed page! Panic Terror Films™ is an Independent Film Company created by Dreu Moreland and Jason Delzell.

Lets get this shit-show on the road!

I’m thinking that in Florida, the term for blow up doll is “Mannequin”. The term for someone who beats up his mother for not dressing it up is “Florida Man”!

Staying in Florida we look at why some places don’t want just anybody using the bathroom!

Shanty, noticing that a video clip he posted got A LOT MORE hits than his others had this thumbnail;

So he decided to do some SCIENCE!!! His next clip will have this thumbnail;

Speaking of predictions—-

It turns out, just like me and you, elephants don’t like to work out in severe heat. Or to be abused in any other way. And elephants are FUCKING HUGE!!

HHNT “Tip Of The Week!”     Don’t mess with Badgers!

Wisconsin!! It’s like Florida with Bratwurst and snow!

HHNT “Tip the 2ND.” If you are wanted for anything, and you are trying not to get caught, DON”T DO THIS!

The arc of some peoples lives are like a ship on a restless sea, some are like a sled careening down a hillside, narrowly missing trees and avoiding the big rocks, and some are like a rocket, blasting through life, tearing through everything in front of them. Gary Busy strapped rockets to his ship and pointed it toward the hillside, smashing every tree and large boulder he could find. There is a space between those ears that not even NASA could traverse.

It looks like this guy has been dipping his fingers in Smurfett!

But does it taste like Manatee?

Anybody for a quick game?

Here’s the link to 50 things from Fla.

Lets all go pee on our feet!

 

 

Man that was a bunch of stuff! Be on the lookout for show clips on the big YouTube thingy, and remember that you can listen to the newest audio-only version on Tuesday morning wherever you get your podcasts.

 

“””””””””””””””””””””””PEACE””””””””””””””””””””””””S.E.

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029.

Greetings good viewers! Welcome back to our ongoing effort to search the interwebs for unusual and entertaining stories to share and make fun of in our own special way. It was not hard to do this week! So, without further ado, lets go!

We kick things off with a little small talk and a shout out to one of our local”Audio Only” listeners, Austin Bohn, of Austin Bohn Trucking, tearing up  the interstate listening to the news he didn’t know he needed!

We start in Florida with a story about a teacher who new how to “Take care of her students”. Of course concealing them from the authorities goes above and beyond her normal educational duties.

 

As long as we are in Florida, we look at a guy that really underestimated the old folks that he was trying to bully!

https://www.tampafp.com/mac

hete-wielding-florida-man-stops-attack-when-victim-pulls-out-gun/Whats better than a nice relaxing day at the beach? Walking along the shore, watching the surf roll in, thinking about your upcoming trip to see the grand-kids, and  WHAM! Theres a large beach umbrella sticking out of your chest! UFF-DA!

Oh TikTok, how do you get all of these people to do these wonderful, idiotic, dangerous, and just plain stupid things?

Every now and then we bring an animal fact that was unknown to us. Who knew that dolphins were so pervy!

Unlike Florida, the residents of Cedar Point Ohio, are not accustomed to seeing this kind of activity in public.

It sounds like Lyon France is becoming the Florida of Europe!

Speaking of sick, demented people, this dirt-bag chose slow death for his victim!

Everybody’s got something to hide except me and my monkey!

This next story is the first of our “50 Things That Could Only Happen In Florida” segment.

So, we had some technical problems with our end of show music, but other than that, we had a great time drinking, and goofing on the antics of the people we call “Humanity”.

Cee You Next Thursday!!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<PEACE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>S.E.

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029.

Once again we dive in to the depths of the news you didn’t know you needed, and drunkenly provide insight and very valuable commentary on the weirdness of the world. Lets get-atter!

We kick things off with a listener supplied story about a fellow who supposedly went berserk at a fair and took over the “Kiss The Carny” booth. For the record, this is a picture of a carny.

It turns out that, alas the story was what we call here at Happy Hour News Team “Bogus”

But, non the less, Candy, who sent us this story will receive some HHNT swag for her contribution! YAY!!! Keep the ideas coming folks, and you never know when YOUR story will be hacked to pieces by Shanty Pants and Sanchez Eldorado!

Now—Florida Man!  It seems that public masturbation is not only common in Florida, it’s starting to look like it’s REQUIRED! Even the local church pastors are participating!

The Knucklehead in this next story must have thought that the more meth he did, the dumber the cops got!

Here in the Good Idea Studio, we want our audience to be safe in all of their activities, both indoors and out. So we bring you this story about how the splash pad at your local park is trying to make you sick. Enjoy your day!

We now live in the age of the “Information Super Highway”, covered with pot-holes and tire spikes of total bullshit to avoid. Need to write a thesis? There’s Wikipedia! Need a movie recommendation? Rotten Tomatoes! DIY Nose job? YouTube!?

Who knew that monkey poop would carry some kind of bad disease that could be passed on to humans?! (Spoiler) EVERYONE!!

Shanty mentioned that he has heard this story before. He did. On our show! But it’s good enough to post again.

If you get nothing else out of our little shit show, PLEASE! Don’t leave the keys in your excavator, golf cart, school bus, scissor lift, or any other weird machine that someone can steal and get their story here!

This next story has me scratching my head as to why she only has a single charge after her little adventure with the emergency services phone line.

Birds gotta fly, fly’s gotta buzz, and scientists gotta science!

So, it seems that killing a spider is murder?

All joking aside, we at HHNT want to thank our 2’s and 2’s of listeners for their support over the years. We would do it anyway, but thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~PEACE~~~~~~~~~~~~~S.E.

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029.

This week we bring you more summer time hi-jinks and “News You Didn’t Know You Needed”

This is our 75th video podcast, and we are looking forward to 75 more!

Lets Go!

In Florida, it is customary to remove your clothes before any interaction with the police.

After reading this next story, I may never eat out again. At least not at a cooking competition!

Remember that your phone charger is plugged into the wall! Keep it out of your bed! Don’t handle it while wet!

It was a big week for “Poor Gals” as our next story demonstrated.

We want to make sure we give a giant shout-out to our good friend and fellow podcaster Chuy Paz on his birthday! He’s got a great show, and gets some really interesting guests. So be sure to check him out! Happy Birthday Chuy!!!

This next story is truly a cautionary tale. In short, if you tattoo your face, they are VERY difficult to remove!

I really don’t understand the thought processes that drive our law enforcement ideology. If you swear an oath to do something, and then not do the very thing that you swore to do, but do the exact opposite, and the people who told you to swear the oath, say that when you did the opposite of what they had you swear to do say “That’s OK, We Will Say That You Did The Right Thing” is the normal way of doing business sounds a little hard to follow to me, and I just typed it out.

The next story is hard to parse out. Long-term visitor, vicious dogs, gun shots, and burglary. Try to keep up.

Now we move on to a heartwarming story about a little old lady who wanted to celebrate her love of the male member. She wanted a giant cock and balls on her grave site! Her family sure must have loved her.

In line with the “Poor Gal” theme we seem to have going tonight here’s another one.

So goes another week. Remember, if you happen to live in western North Dakota, or happen to be visiting on the weekend of the 13th, be sure to visit Richardton “Opryland Days” and check out the Rocket 38″s!

So until we Cee U Next Thursday, don’t eat any wooden testicals!

++++++++++++PEACE++++++++++++S.E.

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029.

This week we welcome Ross M. from The Rocket 38’s and El Gato Del Rio into the Good Idea Studio to share in our fuckery! So lets get to it!

Florida never disappoints. DUI INSIDE WALMART!!

our next little tidbit is about a couple who somehow assumed the identities of dead babies decades ago, and were actually Russian spies! Pretty good ones it seems!

If you’re going to play chess with a Russian Robot, remember, it’s Russian, and can’t be trusted!

I mean, what’s the use of a Space Force if we aren’t fighting Aliens from outer space!

For more info on the “Real Space Force” click on the picture below.

I find so much humor in this next story I giggle every time I think about it. I can’t believe this guy’s flock hasn’t fleeced him a long time ago!

I guess that a pitchfork can be a sales aid. Buy my Teddy Bears or I’ll stab your van!

After doing this for as long as we have, we have come to realize that when doing a story from Florida, stories like this aren’t even unusual any more. But they are funny!

I think, that if someone shoves their fingers in your mouth, without permission, you should be able to bite them. Off.

Maybe it’s just me, but aren’t vicious, attacking monkeys a bad thing?

So ends another spectacular session of Bullshit, Nonsense, and General Fuckery! We want to thank Ross for helping us out, and if your in the area, Western ND, swing by Richardton on the 13th of Aug. for our little town party. The Rocket 38’s will be their and it.s usually a pretty good party!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^PEACE^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^S.E.