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The News You Didn't Know You Needed
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I Was An Aliens Sex Slave

Just to be clear, our first story is about someone from Florida. No shit, really.

This Is A Dumb Way To Raise Money To Pay For Your Criminal Defense Lawyer

For most people, when the word Lousiana is mentioned, thoughts of warm weather, jazz.and gumbo come to mind. For us at HHNT, it’s is mostly public masturbation. In public. And don’t forget, when you try out a laptop in Walmart, don’t forget to use protection!

A Satisfied Walmart Patron Is Arrested

In the 21st century, generating an income can be accomplished in a number of new and exiting ways. Some people have online etail stores, some people do commercial Youtube videos, and some people have sex in the back of police cars and stream it to Only Fans. Now that’s progress!

Police: Couple Had Sex In Patrol Car

W.T.F! It has become abundantly clear that we have a tiered justice system in our country. The bottom tier is mostly the poor and people of color. The next tier are the wealthy, who can afford to navigate the complex and expensive world of a court case. At the top of the heap are the politically connected who are rarely even charged with the crime they committed, or upon conviction get special treatment from sympathetic judges. And, apparently, there is nothing anybody can do about it.

Maryland Police Officer Convicted of Rape Sentenced to Home Detention

Do you remember when if your pizza took more than 30 minutes you got it free? Well this guy couldn’t even wait 10!

Tennessee man demands pizza with AK-47, police say

I’m not sure if this is a “Bad Cop” or a “Good Cop” story.

Former ND jail worker charged for having sex with inmate

This next story is a good example of how important it is to keep your conspiracy’s quiet, and make sure that everyone involved is getting paid.

Four Cops Were Just Busted for Helping Run An Illegal Weed Farm in Maine

I like the idea that if you want to make a lot of money, you can start a business by saying weird shit like “My husband is possessed by a Demon/Alien hybrid  that wants to have a threesome with me” so send me money. I believe her…..NOT!!! Fucking BIZARRE!!!

Preacher Claims Alien Tried to Have Sex With Her in Wild TV Interview

One step forward, Two steps back.

South Dakota Supreme Court nullifies voter-approved pot legalization

In North Dakota, the agricultural sector has a BUNCH of very rich farmers and ranchers who want to stay that way. Any way necessary.

North Dakota farmer Kurt Groszhans accused of attempted assassination in Ukraine

That’s it for this week, Enjoy the season, and don’t hurt yourselves with too much fun.


Age Restricted

You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com  or you can leave a voice mail/text at 701-369-0029

If you have listened to our show, you know that the language we use is not the kind you would hear in church. It is, however the kind you would hear in a bar. Or on any street corner in America. We at Happy Hour News Team want to bring our listeners nothing but the finest in podcast listening enjoyment. We have made several YouTube videos with no problems. Until now. For some reason our content has become “Age Restricted” and must be viewed with the restricted mode turned off in the YouTube settings. Without this mode disabled, you cannot even see the listings of our videos on our channel page, which you can find HERE

Our 1st story is from Florida. No shit. It reminds me of the joke where the guy goes into the bank and says”Every body put your robbing hands in the air, this is a fuck-up!”

Deputies: Florida man arrested for attempting to rob Waffle House with finger guns

Next, a nice story for a change. This guy has every reason to be smiling!

World’s first double arm transplant man now in France with new wife in ‘silver lining’


Back to Florida. This guy needs therapy or a flea collar or something!

Man Beaten After Catching Boyfriend “Humping” Their Dog, Police Report

It turns out that even in North Dakota there are evil, wicked, no good for anything people. This woman needs to be sterilized. No more kids for her. As of this posting, her name has not been made public. I think I know why.

Bismarck woman arrested for leaving infants home alone for 24 hours

This old man in Ohio must not like music much.

Dad shoots son after refusing to stop playing guitar

That last guy should be glad he isn’t married to this woman!

Woman Accused Of Dismembering Husband’s Body, Collecting Benefits

Would you believe this story comes out of Florida?

Altamonte Springs Drug Rehab Owner Charged with Selling Fentanyl

“High”Noon. HaHa!

FHP: 19-year-old drank ‘High Noon’ before rear-ending trooper in Tampa


The next story became too shitty to finish. You decide

Assault Victim Curses at Former Teacher Convicted of Sexual Battery As He’s Sentenced to Prison

Either this next person is a man, or the absolutely ugliest woman in the fucking WORLD!!!

Jordan alleges Iran’s women’s soccer team goalkeeper is a man

Well I was drinking and got a little lost on this story, but, this sentence is why young men think they will get away with forced rape! Sadly, no picture.

Man who raped four teenagers gets no jail time, judge says: ‘Incarceration isn’t appropriate’

For the weird animal facts portion of the show, Shanty introduced us to the “Dugong” which turns out NOT to be a Manatee. That’s why we do this shit!

Well that’s it for this week and as always###############PEACE#################S.E.

Brain Worms

`You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com   or leave a message/text at 701-369-0029.

This week we start out with a Florida man who just wanted a better “Roomie”

Florida Man Knocks Out Cellmates Teeth, “Farts Too Much And Doesn’t Courtesy Flush”

I’m getting a peep-hole! And, is a puck a cylinder?

Bismarck man accused of hitting person in face with concrete cylinder

If your wondering about the whole concrete cylinder thing—

This next story is a combination of Poor Guy, and Weird Animal Fact. I’ll take my bacon extra crispy please.

Tapeworms found in man’s brain years after he ate feces-tainted food

It’s gonna get dark in here. How can you think that nobody will notice that your baby just vanishes!!!

Parents charged after infant’s body found in bedroom wall

Who is creepier, the person who borrows a sex toy, or the one who loans it?

Cops: Woman Stabbed Cousin When He Asked Her To Return Borrowed Sex Toy

I didn’t know I stabbed him, but I put the knife in the trash.

North Dakota woman sentenced 7 years in prison for fatally stabbing boyfriend in groin

Our favorite South Dakota douche bag may get impeached and fired.

Special session begins formal process to investigate, impeach South Dakota AG


Family Sues After Loved One’s Corpse Falls Out of Casket
Terminally ill man arrested for ‘mooning’ at speed camera

But, is it a tail? Or is it a weird growth with a ball on the end? And what is up with the hair on this baby’s butt?

Baby In Brazil Born With 12-Centimeter-Long “True” Human Tail


Weird Animal Of The Week.

What is a Tardigrade?

That’s it for this week. Stay weird and don’t get any on ya! ++++++++++++++PEACE++++++++++++S.E.

101 (Holloweener)

This weeks video portion of our show.

And now , the rest of the story—-

You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com  or  text/call us at 701-369-0029  We will respond somehow, either on air or off.

If you are a podcaster, and you want to up your Apple Podcast Ratings, don’t get scammed. They are real and they are out there. If the person contacting you has a thick Indian (Dot not Feather) accent  and he says his name is “Chuck” BEWARE!!!

Our first story comes to us from Utah. Nothing hidden on this guy.

Utah sex offender arrested after greeting trick-or-treaters in the nude, police say

If this next item is real, the world has a serious problem. I personally think it’s a hoax.

Sewing needles found in Halloween candy, police in Ohio say

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, people like this should not be allowed to roam wild in a free society.

Woman Pointed Gun at 7-Year-Old Child Who Was Trick-or-Treating: Deputies
It’s Huge!

Not only is getting health care in America expensive, NOT getting it is also expensive!!

Woman billed $700 after sitting in ER waiting room for 7 hours, leaving without treatment

Lets welcome back a Florida man who just can’t seem to figure it out. You might recognize him.

More Trouble For “Florida Man” Poster Boy

This one is the stuff of nightmares!  Jeesh!!


Pensacola woman crashes party, exposes private parts to children, says Escambia Sheriff’s Office

Drunk much? These two are!

Two arrested after officers spot man riding hood of a car driving 80 mph

This next story is both heroic and sad in that a young woman was sold into the sex trade, and a young man lost his life. The hero is the guy that killed said young man. The young woman was his daughter, and the young man sold her. End of story. End of his anyway.

Father accused of killing daughter’s boyfriend for allegedly selling her to sex trafficking ring

Sometimes things happen the way they should. His sentence is about average for a first DUI offense. Did not mention any other charges.

Deputy who drove drunk with children fired in Cass County

The Boy Scout Motto “Be Prepared”

This guy got elected from prison

Jailed Murderer Wins Public Office in D.C. Election with Five Inmate Candidates from Same Prison

Are ya hungry? Are ya broke? Do ya need a shopping scooter at the grocery store? Do ya like Lobster? This guy has all the boxes checked.

Man allegedly attempts to steal 100 lobster tails from Coral Gables Publix

You can’t shoot someone just because they stole your property. At least not in Minnesota.

Man charged with assault after tracking down, shooting person who allegedly stole his van

What a way to ruin your life early.

Two students charged with killing Iowa teacher

In this crazy, Topsy-turvey, high stress world we live in, and our dependence on delivery services such as Amazon, I think having a Hooker in your van is OK!!!

Amazon driver fired after scantily-clad woman filmed leaving the back of his van


Are Jellyfish Immortal?

That’s it for this week. Everybody take care, and y’all come back now, ya hear? <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<PEACE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>S.E.