Oh Look Out!!

Welcome To Our Meltdown

The News You Didn't Know You Needed
Listen Here

Cat Scratch Fever

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029.

This week we are both in the Good Idea Studio, bringing you the “News You Didn’t Know You Needed”

March is the “420” month and this year instead of tokin, this person got broken!

500 lbs. of marijuana scattered on interstate during crash on 4/20, troopers say

So, it seems that farts stink more in the shower!

Farts definitely smell worse in the shower, but it’s not because of what you ate

In Florida public masturbation is so common, the news barley covers it.

Man accused of exposing himself at Wawa gas station in St. Pete

As a public service, we want you to know that if it is causing you to damage internal organs, you’re probably doing it wrong.

Man Masturbated So Hard He Tore A Lung And Required Intensive Hospital Care

To be honest, I don’t know what the deal is with NFT’s. Mostly, why?

Guy Buys NFT For $2.9 Million, Asks for $48 Million, Is Offered $3600

A couple of notes on this next story.

First, make sure that there is room in the freezer, second, make sure the freezer is leak-proof, third, make sure the storage unit has electricity, and lastly, PAY THE STORAGE RENT!!

Georgia man accused of placing grandma in freezer — while still alive — after fall last year

We still don’t know what this lady has died from, but –don’t let cops baptize you on the side of the road!

Woman who said deputy coerced her into baptism found dead

I wonder what these people would have done to this kid 200 years ago?

Baby born with two penises has larger one chopped off by doctors

Let the CA vs FL  public masturbation contest begin!

Police come 40 minutes after public masturbator does

I think it’s a good thing they don’t have a pet badger!

Cops: Cat Used As Weapon In Domestic Battery

That’s it for this week. We will try to iron out our sound issues this week, and as always,

Thanks For Tuning In!!!


24-30 inches

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029

This week Shanty and Carrie Pants come to you from the Good Idea Studios, while I, Sanchez Eldorado, am remotely connected from my palatial estate located in bat country, as we have had a WHOPPER of a snow show this week. While people all over the country are planting gardens, and cutting grass, we have to deal with this shit!

Spring In ND!!!


After ironing out some tech. difficulties, we finally get to some stories.

Shanty lets us in on an event he’s involved in, shooting a short film with Panic Terror Films this summer. He plans on traveling to Pittsburgh, PA to be part of the shoot! Be sure to check out their Facebook page!

We kick off with a story from, get this, Florida! We don’t recommend self-testing ANY personal safety devices, especially when it involves a firearm!

Boy dies after Florida teens take turns shooting at each other wearing armored vest

Our next story is a heart-warming tale of man-dolphin love. Wet, sticky, man-dolphin love!

Malcolm Brenner really loves dolphins—like, really LOVES dolphins

Our next story is an excellent example of what happens when you start drinking toooooo early! Anyway, here’s the link.

Fresno police sergeant charged with stealing drugs, using them, crashing patrol car while DUI

This side story should be on every news broadcast in the country!

Jail Time For An “Imaginary Crime”: It’s Almost Impossible To Overdose Just By Touching Fentanyl, But People Are Being Locked Up For It Anyway

This next story came to us from our buddy Jose Jalapeno, from El Town O with Steve and Joe. You can check them out on Anchor!

El Town O with Steve and Joe

This is the shittiest excuse ever for running somebody over!

Woman accused of killing cyclists said she was ‘uncontrollably’ defecating, police say

We have been following this story since it broke, and I have not seen anybody who thinks that it was handled correctly.

South Dakota attorney general impeached over fatal crash

I’ve got to admit, I find the charges a little harsh. I had this done to me, and they didn’t charge my brother with anything!

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say

I guess I’m with Shanty on this one. But Carrie found “Reason” behind it!

Electric shock to penis may cure premature ejaculation: study

I can see a government program that supplies “Incels” with a sex doll so they won’t have to blame women for the fact that they are too lazy to put in the work to get laid!

People would prefer a threesome with a robot over a human

You too can have your very own!

That’s it for this week. Be sure to enjoy the weather where you live, because it could be worse!


Double Dog Dare

You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com, or leave a voicemail/text at 701-204-8554

This week we start off with a live-stream start that is appropriate to the title. as we dared each other to get through a show without a major fuck up. Frozen in North Dakota! Thanks to all of those who stuck with us, and didn’t give up on us.

550 Miles across Montana!

My advise is don’t open other peoples packages!

Cops: Daughter Battered Dad In Sex Toy Dispute

I don’t know, but doesn’t it seem like way too many of these creepo’s have something to do with religion, or are some kind of Preacher?

Florida Man, Teacher At Grace Community Church, Arrested On Child Porn Charges

Ah, public masturbation….When in doubt…Whip it out!!!

Southwest Passenger Arrested for Masturbating FOUR Times During Flight

This company in Cyprus is offering Masturbation Pods for employees. Perhaps the airlines should consider an extra space for this?

Company Offers Employees Pods To Masturbate In, Complete With VR Headsets

I am not sure if one can simply flick ones frozen nipples off, but one can surely add some on!

Teen Claims Nipples Fell Off After ‘Freezing’ Them With Body Spray in Dare

When it comes to dares, and other just plain stupid fads, or “Challenges” as they are known, it would seem that there is no limit to just how stupid it gets!

Most Dangerous, Foolish, Mean TikTok Trends & Challenges

This is a little unconventional, and the tiara is a little much.

Fans Of Slain Rapper Shocked His Body Was Displayed At Nightclub

It would seem that this fad is really catching on.

DEAD WEIRD The rise of bizarre ‘extreme embalming’ where corpses are put into lifelike poses so they can go to their own funerals

Life is full of “What ifs” What if she was able to choose her own numbers? What if 400 rabid monkeys flew out of her butt? What if she bought Pokemon cards instead?

Woman wins $10M lottery prize after being ‘pushed’ into buying scratch-off ticket

We want to give a special thanks to our old pals El Gato Del Rio for making their music available to us, and for being “Cool” If you have time, check them out on YouTube, or head over to their website and have a look around.

Cee You Next Thursday!    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$PEACE$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$S.E.

The Wheels On The Bus—–Come Off

You can contact us by email at happyhrnews@gmail.com  or leave a message/text at 701-369-0029

This week we have the one, the only Shoebee Doebee in the Good Idea Studios! He brought his other half, Dana, who was gifted the worst nickname I’ve heard on the show yet! Worth checking out for that alone.

Of course, with the Shoebmeister in the room, things devolved into the kind of madness that started this whole mess! Needless to say, it was great to have Him on the show.

We managed to get through the show with relatively few fuck ups, so lets get on with it!

!!!Florida Man!!! I’m not sure exactly how one becomes “Stuck” in a porta-potty, unless one is so high that you can’t find the latch.

Florida Man Found Stuck And Screaming In A Port-A-Potty Arrested On Drug Charges

Our next story covers the kind of thing that slips by an old fart like me, as “I ain’t no Tik-Tokker”! I didn’t even know you could buy these Orbeez thingies!

Our next story deals with the 1976 mass kidnapping where a school bus full of kids, along with their driver were buried alive in a box truck at a quarry in CA. This maniac has been recommended for parole.

Chowchilla: Authorities grant parole to third man convicted in 1976 school bus kidnapping

Just imagine, you’re driving down a busy freeway, when about every other car suddenly veers out of control and starts crashing into things! You look over to where your spouse was sitting 2 seconds ago, and she’s just fucking GONE!!! This is the scenario that millions of fundi-religious nutty-buddys think will happen when Jesus  comes back. Well I guess this guy is S.O.L.!

Funeral home sued after man hoping to be “raptured” is cremated

Would you like a little extra “Dressing” with that salad?

Lawsuit Alleges a Portland-Area Red Robin Employee Put Semen in a Customer’s Salad

This lady is going to get a different kind of “Assisted Living Facility”.

92-Year-Old Ariz. Woman Kills Son To Avoid Nursing Home, Deputies Say

Some people should really, really, really not have children.

Hudson man filmed 4-year-old smoking blunt, sent video to mother

Who would have thought that Mexico would be leading on this idea?!

Mexico to rent out unwanted presidential jet for parties

That’s it for this weeks show. I want to thank The Shoebs for joining us, and also Dana who could teach a certain movie star how to take a joke!