Oh Look Out!!

Welcome To Our Meltdown

Home of our podcast and links of wonder
Listen Here

Salty Voodoo Witchery Shit

You can reach us at happyhrnews@gmail.com Or leave us a message at 701-369-0029

This week we welcome our friends John and Erica to the show. Erica owns Salt Of The Earth LLC in Dickinson ND. You can find her Facebook page HERE   Supplying items for holistic healing. Along with Erica, we welcome John, who is not only her S.O., but Shanty’s co-worker at his day job. We had a great time, and gave them a little taste of “The News They Didn’t Know They Wanted To Hear”.

We start off with an update to a story we did a long time ago. It involves a woman who was hiding kids in a secret room so she skate by the limits on how many children she was allowed to oversee. It turned out that that number was zero, because she was unlicensed anyway.

Woman who hid 26 kids behind false wall at day care found guilty

Next we re-visit the story about the guy who sued his parents for destroying his porn collection.

Parents must pay $30,441 for getting rid of son’s porn cache

Eventually, we get to Florida, where a Panama City woman was caught running a con on, well, everybody!

15 months pregnant? Panama City woman faked conditions to get paid time off work, police say

We then head north to Georgia, for some “Fun In The Sun”

Woman Busted For Pleasure Session On Beach

As long as we are on the subject——-

Woman fetches mop from drugstore to fend off masturbating man, police say

Carrie Pants joins us for the second half and the discussion goes exactly like one would expect.

Straight to South Dakota, where you can kill a man and only get a fine, if you are the Attorney General of the state!

South Dakota attorney general takes plea deal and won’t serve jail time for fatal crash

The good news is, that if you claim to have magical powers like Jesus, and you convince your congregation to bury you alive, you will DIE!

Zambian Pastor James Sakala is Dead after being buried Alive

From Zambia to Arizona where an enterprising human smuggler tried to outwit the Federallies.

Phony Border Patrol vehicle stopped in Arizona, foiling human smuggling attempt, US authorities say

This next story at least has somebody that pays for his crime, He should have been the one to get buried alive.

A Texas pastor has been sentenced to three decades in prison for secretly filming children, some as young as 11, getting undressed and bathing at his church.

Did you know that gluing your penis closed in lieu of a condom, is a bad idea? Well it appears to be.

Gujarat Man Dies After Using Adhesive Instead of Condom

So don’t glue it shut, or cut it off. Did I even need to say that? Yes, I did.

Man cuts off penis while running from law

Now that it’s over for this week, I would like to thank John and Erica for stopping by and joining us. If you happen to be in Dickinson ND, stop by Salt Of The Earth LLC and check it out. Get some crystals and shit. See you all next week++++++++++++++++++++++++PEACE++++++++++++++++++++++S.E.

Gettin Mean With The Bean

Welcome back to our humble little recap of this weeks show!

As you can see above, we put up a video this week, and it went the full hour. Below is just the audio if you prefer it that way.

Feel free to leave comments, beg for stickers, or trash your boss  at 701-369-0029, or you can reach out to happyhrnews@gmail.com

This week we start out with  Florida Gal who was just trying to keep it “Real”

Florida Woman Arrested for Exposing Breasts, Masturbating After Dirty Talk with Jailed Boyfriend During Video Visitation

Our next story is a perfect example of how keeping cannabis illegal is bad for society. If it was sold in the open, this would not have happened.

Fargo man sentenced to 9 years in prison for beating death of teen

So, is an operator of a self driving car liable for a mechanical fault that causes an accident? Or just a passenger?

Driver Who Was Watching Movie When His Tesla Struck Cop Car Gets Legal Pass

Back to Florida for an example of how not to commit a crime.

Felony Rap In Knife point Candy Bar Robbery

And speaking of candy bars…..

They ARE Getting Smaller

This next one has me asking questions. Like, who leaves a gun laying around where someone can just pick it up? And do guns just “Go Off?” And lastly, how fucking stupid is this bitch?!!!

Woman using gun’s laser sight to play with cat shoots friend

 

Now, I’m all about self esteem, and a healthy ego, but not at the expense of the taxpayer.

‘Narcissistic waste’: Former Sheriff Morgan spent $75,000 of taxpayer money on statue of himself

The title of this weeks episode refers to our gal friends getting a little “Self Relief” It turns out that, for men at least, there might not be too much of a good thing.

Why Men Should Masturbate 21 Times A Month According To Science

Our next story should serve as a warning for anyone who needs to work in an environment that has noxious fumes.

How A Manure Pit Became A “Death Trap” And Killed Three People This Week

I’ve almost got to admire the stones on this next guy. He was thinking BIG!

Florida Man Rents U-Haul For A $10K Home Depot Shopping Spree, On A Fraudulent Credit Card

Not herpes.

Tasmanian Devil’s Sneaky, Contagious Cancer Evolves

Up here in the northern plains, we use leeches for bait. Who knew they were so weird?

Leeches have 32 brains, 10 stomachs, 9 pairs of testicles, 2 hearts, 300 teeth grouped in 3 jaws, and more than 2 pairs of eyes.

That’s it for this week. Stay tuned for more stories next week>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PEACE<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<S.E.

Give It A Name

Welcome back for another week of stories you didn’t know you wanted to hear.

Remember you can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com, or you can leave a message at 701-204-8554. We have stickers for free, just send your mailing info and we will send you some.

Lets start in Florida; ALWAYS look before you sit on the can!

Florida Man Goes to Brush Teeth — And Finds Iguana in His Bathroom Toilet: ‘Total Chaos’

Some people just want you to step in their shit, I guess.

Serial pooper banned from defecating, urinating in open spaces after ‘numerous’ convictions in British town

This next story was truly a huge let down. I was under the impression that there was a gigantic slip-n-slide covered in human filth. Sadly, that was not the case.

NBC Scraps Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide After ‘Explosive Diarrhea’ Outbreak on Set Halted Production

I don’t understand how people think that they will be able to get away with some of these crimes. Eventually, someone is going to start asking questions and looking for cars.

Missing elderly woman found encased in concrete at home

I guess that you should be careful how you criticize your children’s if you want to share in their success later in life.

Quentin Tarantino fulfills childhood promise of never giving mom a ‘penny’ from fortune

Maybe, just maybe, if you are the jealous type, you shoot the people BEFORE you get married.

Groom still wearing tux shoots 2 people during argument over infidelity. The shooting happened in Louisiana while the groom, Devin Jose Jones, and his bride were stuck in traffic on their wedding night.

Next, we have not only a poor guy story, but a “Poor Guys” story. It seems that some people are magnetic to trains. Who knew?

Two North Carolina men were killed by a train while mourning their brother killed in the same spot

Imagine having to officially respond to someone who insists that you change your name because it sounds like a body part. Hey lady, I think you mean Cocks!

Letter to Utah Gov. begs the question, how do you change your name?

They don’t teach penmanship in school any more. Therefor, many young people can’t read cursive script. So be sure to print your bank robbery note for speedy service.

Man’s handwriting was so bad Eastbourne bank staff didn’t know he was trying to rob them

This guy REALLY wanted them people out of his house. I guess he didn’t want the back rent

Landlord Accused of Killing 2 Tenants Handled Eviction ‘His Way’

This Qanon crap has gotten way out of control. If you want to buy into a bunch of insane, unfounded bullshit on the internet, don’t. Just don’t.

Surf Instructor Dad Killed Kids Over QAnon ‘Serpent DNA’ Fears: Feds

Birds do it, bees do it, well, you know.

Animal Sex: How Bed Bugs Do It

That’s it for this week. Thanks for stopping in and looking around. Remember to use your head, and stay out of trouble+++++++++++++++PEACE++++++++++++S.E.

 

Getting Pretty Dark In Here

You can listen to the show HERE

Welcome back for more news you didn’t know you needed. As always, you can contact the show by email via happyhrnews@gmail.com, or call 701-369-0029.

This week we have some pretty dark shit on tap. I know, we always have some dark shit, but this week there is more than usual. The “Rona” virus isn’t the only thing spreading across the country, it seems that good old fashioned evil mother fuckery is spreading at an alarming rate. No vaccine for this shit.

Lookalikes

 

Woman’s Breast Implant Bursts On Plane, Doctor Refuses to Take Responsibility for Lifetime Warranty

REMEMBER!!! NEVER inject silicone into your butt!!!

It’s off to Florida for a story that has “Fuck them fuckers” written all over it. It seems that love thy neighbor is for other states. You can spread disease, but not food. Fuck me.

90-year-old Florida man arrested for second time in a week after feeding the homeless again.

Here comes the darkness. This story from Oklahoma has us here at HHNT baffled as to how a mother can allow tis to happen.

Mother arrested for child neglect after 12-year-old daughter gives birth

It gets darker yet. I wonder if the mother might have fallen down and got swallowed up by the filth on the floor?

Arkansas woman arrested after mother found mummified, wrapped in newspaper

It’s getting hard to see in here. I mean, I’m all for family oriented activities, but i’ll pass on the ones that include having the kids help stuff dads dismembered body into a garbage bag.

Indiana mother accused of chopping up husband, forcing kids to help hide body

And the darkness is complete. This story has the making of a really good conspiracy theory.    Lewinski…………Clinton……………You do the math.

Michigan man kills girlfriend, removes her skin and lives with corpse for 7 months: prosecutor

On a lighter note, the guy that got arrested for molesting a Tickle Me Elmo doll is asking that his confession be removed from the record.

Man Asks Judge To Toss Elmo Confessions

Here at HHNT, we believe in the rule of thumb principal. As in, “A good rule of thumb would be that if you are going to provide a ride service for people who have been drinking at the bar, it would be a good idea to not get a DUI”

Police say 36 year old Kristina Jo Budke, the owner of Sober Kitty, was speeding on the westbound lane of 1st Avenue North, and then lost control of her vehicle in the 1000 block of 1st Avenue North.

In 1961 a novel was published about the insanity of war, or more specific the rules of being insane during war. Catch 22 put forth the idea that if one is crazy, he is not fit for war, but on the other hand if you want to fight in a war, you must be crazy. Here is a case of a guy who was sent to the booby hatch because he denied being the subject of an arrest warrant, even though he wasn’t said subject, and the doctors claimed that because he claimed that he was not the person that they believed him to be, he was ill. Our world, what a place.

 

Mistaken identity lands man in Hawaii mental hospital for over 2 years

 

I am old enough to remember when the emergency 911 number rolled out. Back then, all of the phones were rotary dial, and when you were away from home, you had to use a “Pay Phone”Next came push button dial phones. Fast forward to today. Cell phones, home screen short cuts, and an app for everything. If you want somebodies contact info, you just have them call you, and you don’t even have to make a note of their number, just “Create Contact” Enter the next generation of phone apps. For a fee, you don’t even have to use the number pad on your phone to dial 911. Just give them $20 a month and they’ve got you covered. They’ll even listen to EVERYTHING you say for extra protection! Just don’t.

Citizen Launches a $20 Service You Can Call to Call the Cops

Something semi-normal from Florida?

Florida Python Challenge winner removes 41 snakes from Everglades

OK This is more like it.

Florida man sentenced to jail and moral therapy for attacking a Minion

Shanty shared some riveting animal facts, but I can’t find the website he was  reading off of, so watch this.

Damn! I’m sure glad we got through that dark shit. Here’s looking forward to some lighter shows in the future. Naw, probably not. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PEACE>>>>>>>>>>>>S.E.

Shake-N-Wait

You can listen HERE

You can reach us at happhrnews@gmail.com, or leave us a message at 701-369-0029

This week we get back to the grind, BBQ parties are great, but the stories don’t take the weekend off. Lets get started.

We kick it off in the shallow end of the gene pool. I mean, I’m a bit of a slob, but I do manage to get my turds to the toilet.

Police: Fla. woman kept autistic child in cage

Next we head west to Texas, for a story about an ordinary guy, BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE!

Texas man sets house on fire after concluding the family living there didn’t follow the Bible

Back to Florida for another dark tale of delayed justice. In Florida, the system is patient. And don’t think you’re going to skate because of the passage of time.

Florida babysitter charged with murder 37 years later

This next one is a good example of why people in other countries think Americans are stupid. I might have to agree with them.

I’m a Parkland Shooting Survivor. QAnon Convinced My Dad It Was All a Hoax.

Here is a link to an Esquire story about the “Pizzagate” conspiracy.

 

So while were ranting, here’s another asshole who thinks that for some reason he doesn’t fit into the category of “People who half to face justice”

GOP Candidate for Governor Says He Did Not Cause Fatal Turnpike Crash

Back in Texas, it is not wise to crash a party with a gun

Texas shooter dies after party-goers throw bricks at him

Some people are collectors. Some collect sports cards, some collect toys. Some collect stolen ancient artifacts and one of a kind single pressing LP’s. But if the federal govt. wants them, well, you know.

The Feds Seized An Ancient Tablet  From Hobby Lobby  And Also Sold A One-Of-A-Kind Wu-Tang Clan Album

Do you use home remedies? Baking soda for indigestion? Pickle juice for muscle cramps? Shoving eels up your butt for constipation?

Man Attempts To Cure Constipation Via An Eel In His Anus, Nearly Dies

Now, I understand that some cultures have some practices that Americans find odd. But give me a fucking break!!!

 

Pregnant goat dies after being gang raped by eight men

RIP Dusty Hill

That’s it for this week. Thanks for hittin’ us up, and checking out the site. We want all of you to stay safe, and make good decisions, like leaving us a message at 701-369-0029. Remember, “Never use an electric eel!!!” ___________________PEACE______________________S.E.