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The News You Didn't Know You Needed
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Identity Crisis

You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com or leave a message/text at 701-369-0029, and we actually got a hit on the phone number!

This week we come to you from the Good Idea Studios on a Sunday! Shanty Pants has been under the weather lately, and we had to push the recording session back a couple of days, but we en devour to persevere. (Keep On Truckin)

We first visit a story of love lost.

Woman accused of poisoning boyfriend because he wouldn’t ‘shut up’

So, I was walking down the path one day, and I saw a foot bridge laying on the ground. Well I thought, somebody threw away a perfectly good bridge! I will rescue this bridge from the trash heap!!!



58-foot bridge stolen in Ohio

He was a good neighbor. Good for setting your shit on FIRE!!!

Florida man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute, police say

If you go into any situation knowing the rules, and you decide to change the rules for your own benefit, you are disqualified. The rule was tips are shared. She didn’t like the rule.

Arkansas restaurant owners comment on server fired after $4,400 tip

On the other hand, when the rules say you will get the tip you were given, the tip is yours.

Amazon drivers to get back $60M in allegedly withheld tips

It truly sucks when the heroes of your youth grow into grumpy old men.

Eric Clapton, Recurring 2021 Villain, Wins $11 Bootleg CD Lawsuit

Do you like geese? They are pretty aggressive. This home owners association wanted to “Calm them down” a bit.

Florida HOA in hot water after drugged geese drown


There are idiots everywhere. C’mon people, wake up!

Man accused of human trafficking for holding his daughter’s hand
♬ original sound – Rachie & Megsies

So where do you go after a failed bank robbery attempt? Why, WalMart of course!

Masked woman who tried to rob bank arrested at nearby Walmart

I think some people have entirely way too much time on their hands.

Florida man banned from United Airlines after wearing red thong on face instead of mask

So, evidently there is an acceptable level of shit in the water.

Too much poop in Hollywood’s Harrison Street Beach to go swimming, health agency says
Tijuana River flows into the Pacific

How can you be a Sheriff in Idaho and not recognize a group of little Mormon girls?

Sheriff charged with felony aggravated assault after allegedly threatening youth group with gun

This next story has too many psych. issues to mention. I’ll bet her daughter is proud.

Mom, 48, stole daughter’s identity to start college, date young guys

Here are some fun animal facts

29 Amazing Animal Facts That Will Surprise You
Blonde-Haired Moth With Small Genitals Named After Donald Trump

So there ya go. Another bunch of information you did not know you needed. Remember to check the sources of EVERYTHING you see, hear, or are told about on the internet. There are wayyyy too many people that get a big kick out of people who believe their stupid bullshit. From all of us here at Happy Hour News Team, have A very merry Christmas. And remember Shanty has a bonus episode dropping on Christmas day!


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