Oh Look Out!!

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The News You Didn't Know You Needed
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Monkee Business

You can contact us at happyhrnews@gmail.com or call/text at 701-204-8554.

We recorded this episode on the day before Christmas Eve, and we hope you all had a good holiday!

So, MTV_____

We start out with a Florida man who must have bumped into someone who wrapped that baggie around his junk! And remember ladies, DON”T STORE OTHER PEOPLES DRUGS IN YOUR COOCH!!!

Drug Suspect Denied Owning Wrapped Package

When somebody says they’re allergic, maybe they are?

Woman Ends Up With A Felony After Secretly Giving Roommate Vegan Foods

Here’s a clue, if you’re going to sell drugs, don’t put a Girl Scout insignia on them. Or Buggs Bunny, or Mickey Mouse, or ANY OTHER picture that might look attractive to a child!!!

Bismarck police say Lincoln man intended to deal drugs, some marked with Girl Scout insignia

Words you will probably never hear/say “Hey, lets catch those alligators and put them in the truck”

Florida teens held after crash leaves two alligators hanging from truck window

This next story begs the question “What the actual fuck??”

A man once convicted of arson was named a fire department’s acting chief. Almost all the firefighters quit.

We keep looking for more good cop stories, but these kind keep popping up.

Suspected shoplifter using a wheelchair shot 9 times by Arizona police officer

Here is the link to the video

It is very revealing when your podcast co-host is disappointed when the next story is not about grave robbing.

Five arrested in Graves Co. tornado theft case

This next story is about a very dangerous product, marketed to very dangerous people. The stupid ones.

Anti-5G necklaces found to be radioactive

I’m shocked! It can’t be true. Something spread on the internet turns out to be a prank? I don’t believe it. It’s the big cat food companies conspiring to discredit this poor woman! Where’s CatAnon when we need him?

Here’s What’s Really Going On With That Video of a Woman Breastfeeding a Cat

I guess it’s harder than you would think to steal a big ass bridge and keep it a secret.

Police: Stolen Ohio bridge found, man facing theft charge

We all have internal dialogues. Most are like “I’m hungry”, or “I wonder if the McRib is back”. Not “I’m hungry, I’m going to eat this guys ribs out back”.

Idaho murder suspect charged with cannibalism; believed eating victim could ‘cure his brain,’ authorities say

It may be cold as shit here in the frozen shithole of Hoth, at least we don’t have mean ass monkys.

Group of Monkeys Kill Over 250 Dogs for ‘Revenge’ in Indian Town

That’s it for this week. Have a safe and happy new year!


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