Oh Look Out!!

Welcome To Our Meltdown

The News You Didn't Know You Needed
Listen Here

24-30 inches

You can contact us at happyhrnewsteam@gmail.com or you can call/text to 701-369-0029

This week Shanty and Carrie Pants come to you from the Good Idea Studios, while I, Sanchez Eldorado, am remotely connected from my palatial estate located in bat country, as we have had a WHOPPER of a snow show this week. While people all over the country are planting gardens, and cutting grass, we have to deal with this shit!

Spring In ND!!!


After ironing out some tech. difficulties, we finally get to some stories.

Shanty lets us in on an event he’s involved in, shooting a short film with Panic Terror Films this summer. He plans on traveling to Pittsburgh, PA to be part of the shoot! Be sure to check out their Facebook page!

We kick off with a story from, get this, Florida! We don’t recommend self-testing ANY personal safety devices, especially when it involves a firearm!

Boy dies after Florida teens take turns shooting at each other wearing armored vest

Our next story is a heart-warming tale of man-dolphin love. Wet, sticky, man-dolphin love!

Malcolm Brenner really loves dolphins—like, really LOVES dolphins

Our next story is an excellent example of what happens when you start drinking toooooo early! Anyway, here’s the link.

Fresno police sergeant charged with stealing drugs, using them, crashing patrol car while DUI

This side story should be on every news broadcast in the country!

Jail Time For An “Imaginary Crime”: It’s Almost Impossible To Overdose Just By Touching Fentanyl, But People Are Being Locked Up For It Anyway

This next story came to us from our buddy Jose Jalapeno, from El Town O with Steve and Joe. You can check them out on Anchor!

El Town O with Steve and Joe

This is the shittiest excuse ever for running somebody over!

Woman accused of killing cyclists said she was ‘uncontrollably’ defecating, police say

We have been following this story since it broke, and I have not seen anybody who thinks that it was handled correctly.

South Dakota attorney general impeached over fatal crash

I’ve got to admit, I find the charges a little harsh. I had this done to me, and they didn’t charge my brother with anything!

Florida babysitter put child in dryer, spun him around, deputies say

I guess I’m with Shanty on this one. But Carrie found “Reason” behind it!

Electric shock to penis may cure premature ejaculation: study

I can see a government program that supplies “Incels” with a sex doll so they won’t have to blame women for the fact that they are too lazy to put in the work to get laid!

People would prefer a threesome with a robot over a human

You too can have your very own!

That’s it for this week. Be sure to enjoy the weather where you live, because it could be worse!


Leave a Reply