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As we were recording this episode it was STOOOOOPID COLD!!!, and shit tends not to work normally when it gets below -20 degrees. That’s my excuse.

We kick off with a story from sub-let hell. Sure I’ll rent you my apartment until I get back from where ever.

 

Here at Happy Hour News Team, we support the rights of individuals to express themselves, and we will stand behind decisions our listeners make. Unless you are a PUPPY KICKER!!! Fuck you puppy kicker!!!

A lawyer with a conscience, who would have guessed there was such a thing.

There are only so many generic “Suspect Descriptions” available. Tall, short, black, white, male, female, and weight. It’s my theory that if the cops want to, they can say you fit one of these. This guy was profiled.

I suppose if you’re going to vote more than once, use dementia as an excuse.

The idea that someone would get robbed in Oakland is appalling!

As far as “Basic rules of thumbs” go, not shitting in your own pool is very close to the top, meaning if you steal something, don’t take it to a pawn shop in the area it was stolen!

This is the new home income opportunity we have been waiting for!

This next story has me full of questions. Should he have let his wife drive, and be responsible if she killed someone? Doesn’t she have a personable responsibility for her decisions, drunk or sober? Are the police in Alabama retarded?

So, there you go. Another one in the books. Don’t forget to check back next week for more news you didn’t know you needed.

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