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Welcome To Our Meltdown

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I Was An Aliens Sex Slave

Just to be clear, our first story is about someone from Florida. No shit, really.

This Is A Dumb Way To Raise Money To Pay For Your Criminal Defense Lawyer

For most people, when the word Lousiana is mentioned, thoughts of warm weather, jazz.and gumbo come to mind. For us at HHNT, it’s is mostly public masturbation. In public. And don’t forget, when you try out a laptop in Walmart, don’t forget to use protection!

A Satisfied Walmart Patron Is Arrested

In the 21st century, generating an income can be accomplished in a number of new and exiting ways. Some people have online etail stores, some people do commercial Youtube videos, and some people have sex in the back of police cars and stream it to Only Fans. Now that’s progress!

Police: Couple Had Sex In Patrol Car

W.T.F! It has become abundantly clear that we have a tiered justice system in our country. The bottom tier is mostly the poor and people of color. The next tier are the wealthy, who can afford to navigate the complex and expensive world of a court case. At the top of the heap are the politically connected who are rarely even charged with the crime they committed, or upon conviction get special treatment from sympathetic judges. And, apparently, there is nothing anybody can do about it.

Maryland Police Officer Convicted of Rape Sentenced to Home Detention

Do you remember when if your pizza took more than 30 minutes you got it free? Well this guy couldn’t even wait 10!

Tennessee man demands pizza with AK-47, police say

I’m not sure if this is a “Bad Cop” or a “Good Cop” story.

Former ND jail worker charged for having sex with inmate

This next story is a good example of how important it is to keep your conspiracy’s quiet, and make sure that everyone involved is getting paid.

Four Cops Were Just Busted for Helping Run An Illegal Weed Farm in Maine

I like the idea that if you want to make a lot of money, you can start a business by saying weird shit like “My husband is possessed by a Demon/Alien hybrid¬† that wants to have a threesome with me” so send me money. I believe her…..NOT!!! Fucking BIZARRE!!!

Preacher Claims Alien Tried to Have Sex With Her in Wild TV Interview

One step forward, Two steps back.

South Dakota Supreme Court nullifies voter-approved pot legalization

In North Dakota, the agricultural sector has a BUNCH of very rich farmers and ranchers who want to stay that way. Any way necessary.

North Dakota farmer Kurt Groszhans accused of attempted assassination in Ukraine

That’s it for this week, Enjoy the season, and don’t hurt yourselves with too much fun.


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