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I’m Not Worthy

Welcome back to the news you didn’t know you needed! As always, you can reach us at happyhrnews@gmail.com, or at 701-369-0029. We won’t tell anybody.

This week we come to you from the Good Idea Studios. Shanty Pants and I, Sanchez Eldorado, dive deep into the interwebs for the stories that slip through the cracks, and if we could, we would bring the cracks.

Florida, the land of alligators, meth labs, and public masturbation. Here’s our first contestant for pud puller of the week.

Florida Man Arrested for Pleasuring Himself With Ice Pack in Front of First Responders: Police

 

Some people have enemies, and some people are enemies to themselves.

Michigan man running from cops gets lost in woods, has to call 911 for help

What a world we live in! Portable communication devices, streaming media, an abundance of food, and genetically modified pigs used for human organ harvesting!

Surgeons tested a pig kidney transplant in a human patient — and for the first time, it worked

This next story is just a good idea. I wish we had one every 5 miles here in North Dakota!

25 Animal Bridges That Are Keeping Wildlife Safe From Humans And Their Cars

Being quite a drinker myself, I am well aware of getting sloshed and making huge mistakes. But this is a little extream.

2 Florida P.E. teachers face charges from entering wrong home, shooting

This is an example of a “Don’t Do That” story.

Police fatally shot Florida teen pointing air rifle

I think that there are benefits to living a simple life, in a simple way, but a car with seat belts would have gone a long way here.

Parents killed in Amish buggy crash, leaving behind 8 injured children

So it has been apparent that a lot of the stories we have been doing about Florida “NitWits” getting arrested are wearing some kind of shiny robe.

It turns out it’s a barbers cape, so they all look uniform!

Some police are putting barber capes on arrestees for mugshots

Here is an example of how one gets to wear the “Mugshot Bib”

Trail Camera Caught Man’s Illicit Horseplay

Who do you trust?

Texas Nurse Convicted Of Killing 4 Men With Air Injections

I wish I could breath through my butt

And something from this guy.

That’s it for #99. Don’t miss our 100th episode released on Halloween 2021@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@PEACE@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@S.E.

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