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The News You Didn't Know You Needed
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The Keys

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This week we are just the 2 of us in the Good Idea Studios with 1 sober Shanty and 1 scotched-up Sanchez to bring you the News You Didn’t Know You Needed.

We want to first give a big thanks to the guys at The Law Offices Of Quibble Squabble And Bicker for setting us up with our very own iMDB pages! My dead mother would be proud.

We start off with a Florida Woman story who doesn’t like the standards set at her local Burger King. I’ve got news for her, when you take the tomato off the burger and throw it at somebody, you now have even less tomato on your burger!

Florida woman upset over tomato thickness throws Whopper, shouts racial slurs, police say

Florida, the state where cocaine just shows up at the beach.

Packages of cocaine keep washing ashore the Florida Keys

 

Cays, keys, and quays

Dropping your phone in a dinosaur leg, and getting stuck. aawhat a bad way to go.

Missing man’s body recovered inside dinosaur statue, may have gotten stuck retrieving cellphone: report

Not all Florida stories are about crazy fucks and weird drug dealings, evidently there are some decent residents of The Sunshine State.

It’s St. Petersburg’s bench, but Al owns it

These folks figured out how to beat the high price of meat at the local store.

Inside the Russian ‘cannibal family’s house of horrors’ where they ‘killed and ATE 30 people lured from dating sites’

So, do police think ALL powdery substances are drugs?

Police mistook ashes of man’s 2-year-old daughter for drugs, lawsuit claims

It seems that the ass-hat atty. general of South Dakota has finally got a court date for his 3 misdemeanor charges stemming from when he KILLED A MAN with his car while using his phone as he drove home from a party. Fuck this guy!

Fuck This Guy!

We live in the time of the information super highway, and an app for everything from ordering a pizza, to buying a car. We want to introduce you to the latest trend in appifi-ing the world, that lets you turn in anybody who is doing something you find suspicious. It’s called Citizen App. It brings the latest mid 20th century Soviet Union mindset to the American 21st century! Complete with your own private police force!

Citizen App’s Unhinged Private Security Firm Would Like to Patrol Cities With Police Powers

Speaking of technology, this guy should not have used such a high resolution camera to do his vanity cheese shots.

Drug dealer jailed after sharing a photo of cheese that included his fingerprints

I think there might be a better way to draw attention to ones self than this.

Man Locks His Head In Cage In Attempt To Stop Smoking
Man hides in Walgreens, then tunnels through wall to get opioids, Tennessee cops say

Our next story just makes a guy put his face in his palms and say “Why”

He’s been asking Walmart to pick up its trash for 3 years. But when he did it himself, Walmart called the police.

Where DOES one go to sell homemade explosives?

Ohio Man Allegedly Making Bombs To Pay For Lawnmower Dies In Explosion

To wrap up this weeks show, Shanty gives us a weird animal fact about female Hyenas

Female Spotted Hyenas Have a Penis

So that’s it for this week. Much thanks to all who listen to our weekly nonsense, and don’t forget to check out our list of podcasts that we like.       PEACE!             S.E.

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